What to Do When Pastors Step on Toes
What to Do
When Pastors Step on Toes
Today, it seems, that there are more offenders and offended people in the world than ever before. It is no different within the church. And, unfortunately, all too often, church leaders go on offending, even sinning without anyone saying anything until it is far too late. As Christ-followers what are we to do when a pastor or elder is offensive?
“Do not admit a charge against an elder except on the evidence of two or three witnesses.”
A charge against an elder is taken very seriously in Scripture. They hold a God-given responsibility to the shepherding care of the saints through the ministry of the Word of God (Acts 20:28). Their lives are never sinless, but ought to be a reflection of strong evidence of the transforming power of the gospel both lived and proclaimed. This ought to make them the most humble leaders, and those who deeply and joyfully express the goodness of the gospel.
What should you do when a pastor or elder offends, whether they outright sin against you, or merely give you the impression that they don't seem to care about you?
1. Is it an offense of sin?
Begin with the 10 commandments, then the commands of Jesus. Is what he doing truly wrong, or are you just offended or inconvenienced by his words or actions?
2. Who is to 'admit a charge'?
The position of a pastor or elder is to shepherd the flock given to him by the Holy Spirit and are under his spiritual care (Acts 20:28). Timothy has been charged to shepherd the saints in Ephesus with other pastors/elders. It is the elder team that should first hear of a charge against one of them.
3. Who can bring a charge?
Anyone, really. But not all voices should or will be heard. Think of this in terms of proximity. Voices of accusation from outside the church can be heard, especially if they regard evidence of sinful practice. However, the volume (weight) of the voice will vary, particularly when accusations of character are heard. The loudest voices will be fellow elders. Next fellow church members. Within this group, sin can and should be called out, and when possible, Biblical church discipline is practiced in hopes of restoring the offender. Voices outside of committed membership will be more difficult to hear if they have not made this commitment.
4. Is he your pastor/elder?
The pastor who has offended you might be the pastor you listen to each Sunday. He may be nice and welcoming, but until you (and the church members) discern whether the Spirit of God has placed you under his shepherding care and you have made that clear to him (and them) by officially joining the church, your voice will not carry as much weight when you see sin. So, either steer clear of that church or take the time to get to know it well. Over time, you're perspective on the matter may change. Of course, no one should apply for membership with the motivation to point out sin.
Remember, a pastor is first a member of his church, then a pastor. He submits to the Word of God, the Spirit of God, and the people of God. So does every member when they enter membership in a (biblically healthy) local church (Ephesians 5:21). One reason for this is so our sin can be addressed rightly, and restoration can be pursued (cf. Matthew 18:15-20; 1 Corinthians 5:4-5). If he is your pastor, then you know that you have both committed to mutually walking together in your spiritual growth. If he is not, recognize you are not officially partnered with him in God's work in his church.
5. If he is your pastor...
...follow Matthew 18:15-17 with the goal of forgiveness and restoration. If done in humility, knowing you are both sinners in need of God's grace, restoration of relationship, and the righting of wrong has a good chance of coming about. If it is a case of true sin that persists (not just an irritating personality issue), share your concern with another elder. Then, if necessary, take one or two other members who have seen the same sin persist and ask for an opportunity to speak on the matter again. Each church and situation are as unique as the individuals involved, but if the commands of Christ are being broken and no repentance comes about, then the best recourse is to step away from membership in that church.
Thankfully, we do not put our confidence in the perfection of pastors, but in the righteous presence and promise of God. Jesus said that he would build his church for his glory. That is the church that we want to be: submitted to Jesus and his work of putting our sin to death and teaching us to live righteous lives. There is always the danger of sin in the church at every level. It's how it is dealt with that matters. For that, we look to Jesus, who, at great cost to himself, bought our forgiveness. So we point all offended and offenders to Jesus, reminding them of the gospel and praying for them, even serving them as Jesus would.
Humbly yours,
Loren