What Does True Love Look Like? — Rome International Church

Hello church, this is Alaina.

What does true love look like?

In movies and books we see what the world deems as love. Definitions are very important.

Is your definition of love conditional, based on feelings? Is it possibly to "fall out" of love?

Is true love an ideal that no one will actually reach because we are all sinners? Is love about what we get?

Last Sunday Pastor Loren preached through Mark 9:2-13. He said that our life trajectory looks like humbling ourselves. What if each mile marker in our life Jesus is asking us to deny ourselves, take up our cross, and follow Him?

I would like to introduce you to one of my [real life!] friends named Kathleen Darling.

Well actually- I will have her introduce herself.

“Well hello there!

If we haven't met, my name is Kathleen :)

I'm married to Cale and we have two kiddos.

Most of all, I love Jesus & I love His word.

I married my man young, excited for the all that the future held for us. We survived Basic Training, AIT, two

long deployments with some distant trainings mixed in for the Army.

About a month and a half after he safely returned home to me after his last deployment, we were in a terrible car accident.

It was one of those gut wrenching-life changing-where's the rewind button moments.

After surviving a car accident that was on the brink of stealing his life, he came out of it with a severe traumatic brain injury.

Life is hard and a lot has been taken from this guy but he's here and gets to be husband & daddy even though it looks different than we had imagined. He misses the Army and although his memories are all jumbled up, he often asks about rejoining."

This car accident she mentions- this was 12 years ago now. Just the other day she wrote this about what her life looks like now.

"Twelve years. This day will never go by as a normal day when floods of different emotions don’t rise up and remind me of the traumatic day that took place.

As I’ve been pondering this last week though, I’ve thought about how it’s not just today. Our life every day is a reminder.

Every night we have our routine when I put eye drops in Cales eyes, spray up his nose and brush & floss his teeth- I’m reminded. Cale recently said during me getting him ready for bed, he hated that I had to do that every night.

I very honestly explained to him that I am honored and thankful that I get to be the one to care for him.
It’s not a nurse- it’s not his mom, it’s ME. His wife. I give his meds, I help him balance and walk.

I help him understand what someone has said, I drive him places. I read things for him and help others understand what he’s saying. I wipe drool and help him get dressed. I cut his food up so he can eat. I do it. I GET to do it. What a beautiful hard our life is and will continue to be…and I’m so thankful I get to be next to him for all of it. Happy Alive Day Boy! We celebrate you and your life! You amaze me. Thank you for keeping me around (who are we kidding? You have no choice. Ha!) and allowing me the honor to care for you, my gift of a husband. "

Now you tell me if your definition of love fits Kathleen's definition with her devotion to her husband.

What would their life look like if she said after his brain injury... "...sorry bud, but you are no longer who I married." "You can no longer provide for me, you can no longer think clearly enough all the time to lead us..."

BUT GOD. God inserted HIS unconditional love in Kathleen's heart. She chose to keep her marriage vows until death do them part- and God has given them two precious children since his brain injury! Their life is not "normal" or what the world would say is "ideal". Yet I would argue that my friend here understands God's definition of taking up our cross and following Him on a deep level. She knows what no movie can portray of true love. She lives a life in humble submission to a life of service. She is a living sacrifice because her perspective goes beyond this earth. She sees eternity and this life is but a breath.

If you would like to keep up with her or read more about their story you can find her on her blog. Also- see some of their journey through pictures here.

Love you guys,
Alaina